I continue to be in awe of how fast this first year with Melody has flown by. I want to document the story of how Melody came into our lives because I don’t want to lose the details with the passing of time. One day I will share Melody’s story with her as well.
I will never forget the day in November when I was in the dairy section of Walmart with my mom when I got a call from my husband. We were chatting about nothing in particular and in his typical fashion of saying things out of the blue he said “Oh when you get home, remind me to tell you about someone asking us if we want to adopt their baby.” “WHAT?! Excuse me?” was my reply. And that was the beginning.
Although Shawn and I had discussed the possibility of adoption we had never pursued it. We had our two boys and toyed with the idea of having another baby but it was all just hypothetical at that point. Now we had been approached directly about adopting a baby that was due in about four months. We struggled to wrap our minds around the concept. At first it seemed so sudden and a little crazy. Even as we talked about it and went back and forth about the possibility it was so hard to picture it as reality. Even when we decided to pursue it we didn’t tell anyone outside of our family in case it didn’t go through.
It was so strange to prepare for a baby that wasn’t growing in my stomach. It was hard to cautiously tell our boys of the possibility they might be getting a little sister but not to get their hopes up in case it didn’t happen. Several times we got calls that the birth mom had gone to the hospital for signs of early labor and I really started getting stressed out because I had gotten rid of all my baby supplies and I was totally unprepared. What if the baby came early? I finally talked Shawn into letting me buy a couple outfits, a pack of diapers, and some formula and we borrowed a bassinet from someone in the family. But that was it. A far cry from decorating a baby nursery, having baby showers, and spending months preparing your house and your heart for a new baby.
On the morning of January 28th, we were closing on our new house. We had just left the attorney’s office and were headed to the house to try out our new keys when we got a call that the birth mom was once again having contractions and was going to her doctor’s office. At this point we had gotten several calls like this and she was on medication to decrease the chance of preterm labor. We just assumed this was another call like all the others. We started making trips back and forth from storage bringing loads of boxes and furniture to our new house but we kept checking in via phone to make sure everything was alright.
Around 7′oclock that night I placed a call to the birth mom to ask how she was doing. She was still having contractions and was waiting on someone to come check on her. I asked her if her mother was still with her and she replied “No, she had to go home. I’m here by myself.” After I got off the phone with her I went to find Shawn and I said “I’m going to the hospital. Whether this is another false alarm or not, no one should be having contractions in a hospital bed all alone.” I threw a few things in a bag (just in case), grabbed my purse and left. It was pitch black on the unfamiliar back roads that I took to the hospital that night. As I got closer and closer I could feel myself getting more and more nervous but I finally arrived at the hospital.
When I got off the elevator on the floor for labor and delivery I tentatively looked around for where to go. At that moment a nurse came out some double doors, walked up to me and asked “Are you Faith?” “Umm, yeah,” I said. She said “Oh good, you almost missed it.” As I walked into the room, I asked the soon-to-be birth mom “So, how’s it going?” She said “I’m about to have a baby.” A few seconds later a doctor and two nurses came in, and I gave my hand for the moral supportive squeeze that really does nothing to help with the pains of giving birth. I vaguely remember getting a text message from Shawn asking if I had arrived ok and I texted back “The baby is coming.” A few pushes later and Melody was born. From the time I arrived in the hospital room to the time she was born was exactly 10 minutes. I could have missed the whole thing if I hadn’t called when I called or left when I left. Amazing God moment #1.
Because the unexpected labor happened so fast and because the hospital was extra busy that night, the two new moms got to the spend over an hour with our little Melody. Just the two of us. It was so incredible. We had a great chance to talk and here she is giving me the blessing of a daughter and SHE was thanking me. It showed me in that moment how truly unselfish she was and how much she cared for her baby to make the choice to give her to a family that could provide for her child in a way that she could not. If her family or any of my family had been present for the birth we would not have shared those moments together. Amazing God moment #2.
About an hour after Melody was born we had some family visitors on both sides including new daddy Shawn. Everyone decided to go home when they came to take Melody for her bath. I decided to stay overnight and assumed they would bring her back to sleep in the room so I wanted to be with her as much as possible. Well, the entire night passed and they never brought Melody back. In the morning we were told that Melody’s oxygen levels were not what they should be so she was placed under an oxygen hood and had to stay in the nursery.
The day after Melody was born was spent mainly just me and the birth mom hanging out in her hospital room making trips to the nursery to go visit Melody. At first it was strange because different hospital personnel and nurses were in and out of the room all day and they would naturally ask her about her new baby. Each and every time she would inform them that I was the mom and ask my opinion on things. It was kind of surreal but I think it helped solidify things in her mind because I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster she must have been on. It really helped calm my fears as well that she would really want to go through with the adoption because in the back of my mind I know I was afraid of getting close to a baby that I might lose. Amazing God moment #3.
Melody had to stay in the hospital for four days. By then, birth mom had checked out of the hospital so I had to travel back and forth from home to go see Melody. I couldn’t hold her as long as she was under the oxygen hood either. So it wasn’t any easier to realize that I had a baby. Even though the birth mom had already signed her rights over to us it didn’t feel any more real because there was no baby at our house. We finally got word that Melody was going to be released and Shawn and I were planning to go together when he got home from work.
Due to a hospital technicality we were told that the birth mom had to be present in order to release the baby. I received a panicky call from Shawn hours before he was able to leave work saying that the birth mom was already on her way to the hospital. He was worried that there was a chance something could happen with the hospital releasing Melody to the birth mom if we weren’t there.
I had been out shopping with my mom buying baby supplies because I realized I didn’t have socks or other basic baby items I needed. So we changed our plans and headed straight to the hospital as I’m picturing all the horrible possibilities that years of watching movies on Lifetime had stuck in my head. I also imagined a huge emotional scene with the birth mom’s family.
When we arrived, birth mom was rocking Melody in the nursery. She had come alone. My mom finally got to hold her new granddaughter and the infant nursery had cleared out during the week so it was extremely calm and quiet. We each took turns holding her and taking pictures. Melody got her footprints taken and go
t her oh-so-flattering hospital picture taken.
Eventually it was time to go. We got her papers signed and put Melody in her carseat. We all rode down the elevator together and there was definitely lots of tension in the air. We both walked Melody to my van. There was a feeling of finality when I slid the door closed and as I hugged birth mom good-bye she really started crying. We just held each other in the parking lot and cried together. I thanked her again and then we parted ways. I was so thankful that it was so calm and that she came by herself and that all the possible situations I envisioned never happened. God moment #4.
There is much more to Melody’s story and too many more God moments to count on the road to getting her adoption finalized. There were several times when we weren’t sure she would be staying with us because the biological father came back into the picture and tried to ruin everything. But even in the midst of it all we could see God’s hand clearly at work. I can honestly say that I haven’t had to rely on Him so deeply as I did during the adoption process. I have never felt so gripped by fear in one moment and so elated on angel’s wings in the next moment than on the day of her final adoption hearing. Melody’s adoption was finalized on May 29, 2008 the day before Shawn’s birthday and what a wonderful present that was!
You are such a beautiful blessing to our lives, Melody! I can’t imagine our lives without you.
Faith, it was such a strange kind of adjustment for me when Melody came into our lives. I was surprised by how it didn’t quite “click” at first to realize that a new baby had come to permanently be a part of our family. It was like the stork literally brought Melody to your home to live with you. She kind of “dropped” into our lives, which was something none of us had experienced before.
That day at the hospital was so peaceful and I was struck by how convinced the birth mother was in her decision to trust you with her baby. Not only did it make me proud of you, but it showed me a deeper meaning of what “sacrifice” looks like. I can’t imagine what giving your baby away to someone else must feel like. I’m so thankful that I’ve never been faced with this.
But now, who of us can imagine life without Melody? She has truly blessed our lives and I, too, am thankful that a young mother cared enough about her baby to sacrifice her life with Melody in order to allow you and Shawn and the rest of us to raise her in the ways of the Lord.
To her I am forever thankful.
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